She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
