she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
