soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Randomize
