apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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