i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize