Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.

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(301): View more from Maryland

He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.

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(703): View more from Virginia

I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.

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(316): View more from Kansas

You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.

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(613): View more from Ontario

Sorry my hands just texted you

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(210): View more from Texas

You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL

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(843): View more from South Carolina

Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.

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(440): View more from Ohio

Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery

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