yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
