I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
