It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
