I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
