Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
