Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
