Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
