my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
