when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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