I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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