just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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