walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
