I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
