i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
