omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
oh god the rape fog is back!
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
