drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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