When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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