Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
