I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Small penises have feelings too.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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