Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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