Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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