Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
