I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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