I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
