# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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