Pants 0. Shit 1.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
the gays at disneyland are vicious
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
