Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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