the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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