she sounds like chewbacca in bed
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
