I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
