So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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