Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
