I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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