I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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