I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
