Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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