you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
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