So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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