About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
