We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
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