Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
