Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
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