hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
It's never too late to be topless.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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