Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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