I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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