I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
