My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
