Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
It was confusing and full of hummus
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
