You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Randomize
