I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
