Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
