i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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