We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
