If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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