it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
