it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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