I love black thongs
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize