Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
