it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
