well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
